Humility - Part 2

My wife, Lindy, and I had been married for all of six months. I was serving as an Intern Pastor in a very small church on the Kenai Peninsula in Alaska where we were living with the pastor and his family. We needed a place to live and as I have always held a love for the forest, I decided that the manly thing for an Alaskan husband to do was to build our first home with my own hands - 20x24 cabin built of logs and rough-cut lumber.

Being a young man of great faith I decided to not get a job when we moved to Kenai. I would be spiritual; pray a lot and build my dream home in the woods by faith. I had never built a house before and this one would be built with a framing square, hammer, chainsaw and axe. There was no electricity on the property, no generator, or running water. There was not even a road all the way to the building site. Everything was carried in on my shoulders.

Lindy and I would kneel beside the bed and pray earnestly for building supplies each and every morning. God would again and again show himself mighty and provide what we needed that day.

One of my shortcomings in those days (there was more than one) was that I was a very hard worker, independent, and proud of it! My hard work ethic was certainly connected to my identity and maybe, in all transparency, still is.

One day, my father and mother-in-law drove from Anchorage to Kenai for a surprise visit. It was a delight to be with them, they have always been great encouragers in our lives. I must confess, however, that I did have struggle emotionally on this visit. My father-in-law had just performed our wedding ceremony where I promised my soon to be wife, my father-in-law and everyone else on God’s green earth that I would love, cherish, and otherwise do a good job taking care of my new bride. At the time of this visit, it did not appear that I was doing such a good job. No job, no money, living with others, living by faith, etc.

On that hot Saturday afternoon, my father-in-law and I went for a walk on an old logging trail in the woods. I can picture this event like it was yesterday. The mid-day sun was beating down on us and the trail dust billowed into the air with every step we took. After talking about lots of things, he finally asked the dreaded question. “So… how is the project going?” I did my best to shine it on and convince him that we were doing wonderful. It was true that God was meeting our needs, but I think Lindy would have told him a more accurate story if she had been asked. (I was happy she was not present for this question.)

I once heard that if a man is drowning and going down for the last time, he should make it look like it was planned. I was doing my best to look like this drowning was planned. My father-in-law listened and grunted while pondering my response, but he did not say anything. As we continued to walk along he reached into his pocket and pulled out a fist full of rolled up currency. He then extended his hand toward me and said that he was giving me the money to help us out. I boldly insisted that we were fine and I did not need his gift. Remember, this conversation took place after prayer beside the bed in the morning where Lindy and I fervently begged God to send us provision.

My father-in-law kept insisting that I take the money and I kept stubbornly kept insisting that I did not need his money. By this time, both of us were red in the face and very agitated. Finally in a silent moment of great tension he asked, “Why won’t you take this money?” I was caught totally off guard and speechless for a moment. Then in one of my unusual moments of candor I said sheepishly….“I am proud I guess.” He was quiet for a moment and his face looked puzzled. Then he asked, “What have you got to be proud about?”

I gulped and then quickly reached out and practically attacked his hand to lay hold of this provision by God through my father-in-law.

Most of us can identify with this story. We have all, at one time or another, likely caught a glimpse of our own pride or self-reliance. I desperately needed my father-in-law’s help that day…in more ways than one. I almost missed God’s provision because of my pride. My father-in-law almost missed out in receiving God’s blessing because the scriptures teach that blessings multiply when generosity towards others is extended.

God has extended his merciful hand toward us through His son, Jesus Christ. Jesus humbled himself, to the point of death on a cross, for the eternal benefit of all mankind. Without the humility of Jesus there would be no gift of eternal life.

Without our act of humility and the crucifying of our selfish and self-reliant ways, God’s gift to all mankind will not be heralded. Jesus said that the testimony of him coming into this world to bring the wonderful message of redemption would be displayed by our love one toward another. (Jn 13:35) Real love is not self-centered or proud. Real love is seen though humble acts of kindness.

God’s plan has always been for us to experience life with one another. Our self-centered nature prohibits that. There is no place for competition or self-focused ministry if we are going to see the Kingdom of God expanded in our city, state or world. Maybe I am not the only one needing to be asked the question…”What do you have to be proud about?”